it's early morning and i should be in bed.. a'sleepin because tomorrow is going to be a very long day. a very long day that i am both looking forward to and dreading. no, not that either. not dreading so much as wishing i didn't have to stay the ENTIRE bleedin day. it's mandatory meeting day for shuttle drivers. everything gets done. schedules handed out. talks/presentations given. do's n' donts and changes. pictures will be taken. schmoozing and dodging and veering and talking about nothing and not talking and trying to maintain.
it's mandatory, period
i made plans, tonight, for tomorrow night because i'm sadistic. i'm gonna be hurtin, of course, but i'm doing it because i'm telling myself there will be seriousness and hunkering down for the quarter to come.. for the year and more to come yet before i actually get my freedom. and even though i know a lot can happen in a year (and more) i fear that its going to HAPPEN much too slowly.
tonight was relaxing and fun. we didn't go to the movies that we planned on because they were sold out. sold out! the movie is not even that great and its sold out!! people are idiots. the masses are... bleh. so i'm glad. i'm glad that we all got to hang out at the coffeeshop like troopers. i'm glad that g is/has become another welcome addition.. i mean he was always around but not around enough. so now, things are starting all over again. i have much to look forward to. even school.. but sitting in those workshops is going to kill me. seeing the new and talented crop is going to kill me. writing is going to kill me. proving i can get through this entire year is going to kill me. the new year is going to kill me. making decisions, night moves, no moves, trusting, letting go, reaching out, making out (fingers crossed in mad anticipation), slipping, falling, crashing, trying... its all going to kill me. but oddly, oddly, oddly.. i welcome it all with semi-able, fleshy, trembling trembling arms.
c'mon folks. let's hear it for the cheese.
1:54 a.m. - 2003-09-20
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
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