i'm off to be "manly" now. taking apart bathroom fixtures and hauling various pieces of furniture from our upstairs living area to our downstairs garage. as if there were any other place for a garage.
i'm actually torn between a sense of accomplishment i KNOW i will have by the end of it. things will feel worthwhile. but something in me screams myself apart with doubt. i am a mess with this stuff.. working it out. dealing with intimacy, closeness. hell, the very idea of it. i am a mess of anticipation and longing and i have a mountain of projects to start and shape and finish and so precious little time.
i really don't know how i'm going to deal. if i were a smoker i'd probably have an excuse for putting off the work by going out and having a smoke break. if i were a drunk i'd be slinging back enough shots to skate me on into the night. if i were a songstress i would.... be doing up my hair and pinning back my dress for the stage? hmm. that image doesn't seem to work.
5:14 p.m. - 2003-10-04
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
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