what is it about strong women? what is it about strong sensual women? what is it about strong sensual taken women? what is it about that kind of woman that all the songs are written about? the kind of woman who is that perfect angel in the living room and that devil in the bedroom?
what is it about that seductress? that calculating heart-breaking taker? what is it about that confidence?
what is it?
i've seen these women in action. i've heard them speak. i've looked at them as a spectator and they've looked back at me with something that borders on contempt, on pity, "poor fool" they'll say to themselves. i've felt their jagged looks of shame graze my cheek. they think you're pathetic and they sneer because they know that i'm one less in the world to compete with. i've heard them say that i'm awkward and wrong when they thought i couldn't hear them.
this has made me angry in the past, sure. i've done virtually nothing to prove them wrong. i've just tried to block them out. i've made myself deaf to them.. and i've failed, of course. but it doesn't matter. i've told myself there are more important things.. there have to be.
wow. this sucks. i was ok but i'm in a really bad mood now.
fuck.
i'm psychotic.
in the air: south pacific. (musicals kill me)
10:15 p.m. - 2003-11-17
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
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