ok. this is what i'm thinking. i'm going about this all the wrong way. i'm dense like that.
because duh.. it doesn't matter which one i decide i'm going to be stuck on.. when a] i won't do anything about anything (e.g. make moves i know will only be flatly rejected) and b] neither one of the schmucks couldn't care less about me in that regard!!
it's infuriating.
but so hair removal.. i don't know why i didn't get myself waxed a long long time ago. it's great. stings a little but its great! i also took the liberty of cleaning up the eyebrow lines. yepp. that's right. i bought me a nice tweezing tool and went at it. i think i got to liking the plucking pains a little too much. i'm actually really a little worried about myself and this whole liking pain deal. well.. liking it within reason. pain up to a point. beyond that point is insanity but i could prob'ly still tell myself to take it.
so ok. nothing new to note here. perhaps that tonight the boys were a little less understanding than i may originally have given them credit for. they started to sermonize about me being comfortable with myself physically. i hate being told, "get over it" for the very simple reason that i can't. obviously. duh. i mean.. we all have our issues. but whatever. they couldn't even begin to understand. i think t said it best, albeit something she said when niether of them could hear it.
ehem.. to paraphrase it: they don't understand what it means to develop [breasts] at eleven. that you're sexualized by the world when you're not ready for that kind of thing. it sucks.
yes. that's exactly right. the vigilence that she, the young woman, must keep in order to stay intact begins. the everyday struggle with and of the body begins and you'd better learn who and what to trust. you must be vigilent or they'll eat you alive.. that's the first thing i learned.
anyway.. before i spend another hour or however long taking all of this meaningless stuff down.. i'm just going to call it a night and hope the guilt of not remembering to buy my dad some coffee falls away to nothing.
ontario mills hear i come?
in the air: whirring and clacking::my computer and me.
~burp~
1:39 a.m. - 2003-11-29
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
lv2write00
squirrelx
cdghost
smoog
muppetathena
crystal42
thatdame
iwillsurvive
monstre
ouvrelesyeux
poolagirl
lintpickle
i-am-jack
anniewaits18
alicewonders
sunnflower
crateobscure