and when she finally looked into the mirror, she was horrified with her find. an upsurge of emotion or turmoil, damage and uselessness burned and stung just under the surface of a familiar reserve.
i don't know what possessed me to share this. i will take it down again soon. i'm just testing myself i suppose. daring myself i suppose. how many pictures of eyes must pass this way again. how many images of how many eyes and windows that reveal. how many of these delicate pinpoint centers are exposed, wet, aching, flooded, darkened, blinded--?
i was curious, that's all. i was curious to see myself, behaving like a fool, thinking myself private. not giving myself a chance. i was reading something that made me well up even though i hadn't yet given up.. not really. i was looking at lines that made me sensitive and alone. a confrontation of the inner eye, the inverted mind, the imperfect and porous feeling of disconnection.
i am delirious with an urgent need to sleep now, driven by too much feeling for my sight in the half-dark of outlines, all black-n-blue
(to be continued.....)
05:19 - Monday, Apr. 18, 2005
Recent entries:
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anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
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