i am looking for a face or i am looking for the light to cast a shadow where it will. even though i know full well that no real shadows can seem to appear without the daylight here, casting out its excess.
then again, when everywhere is a shade, night must make deeper layers--more inescapable folds.
i am looking, once again, at the dimensions of this box. i am not looking far enough, i think. my thought which does not have a voice has an echo yet--asking and asking and always asking, why do you do this here?
in the end i am ashamed of myself.
my dear dark blue has said, this is not what it claims to be. why do you write this here.. it is lies. i imagine he means to talk about self-promotion. i'm not hurt by this but i am dizzy from the next thing i remember that it takes incredible focus, the mastery and skill to hold a single thought and carry it safely across to the other side of its meaning. from these things i assume the posture of failure: a crooked back and downcast gaze, the hunching shoulders and the curling fingers alter my words as well as my melting face.
and this is how i'll (re)tell the story, through a photograph that i must find. and i must find it because i need something beautiful to light the looking eyes pausing here...
01:54 - Wednesday, May. 25, 2005
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
lv2write00
squirrelx
cdghost
smoog
muppetathena
crystal42
thatdame
iwillsurvive
monstre
ouvrelesyeux
poolagirl
lintpickle
i-am-jack
anniewaits18
alicewonders
sunnflower
crateobscure