He said: �I saw you yesterday��In the dream, he looked so happy or pleased or drizzled in sleep that I didn�t want to insist that it wasn�t me. He looked as though he were pleased with being looked at, seen or appraised by me and my eyes. Why? I don�t understand what I�m trying to say to myself about him or about me or about us. And the weight of these words continue. Its everything, all and nothing--
Smiling, I exclaimed
(because he may have really seen me as myself and not who I thought I was or who he wished I was! He says he saw me and I am eager to believe): �You did?!�
He said: �Yea, I saw you at the G__� he said a name that I�d never heard and still cannot quite remember.
I said: �What�?�
He said: �at G__...�
Rather deflated
(because now it becomes about specificity. He did not see me), I said: �I don�t think that�s right��
--�What�?! But I saw you. It was you��
--�No I don�t��
--�Yea,� he�s almost whispering, almost seductive or almost believing that he is. His eyes take on the look of sleep, the whole of his head or his consciousness nodding in the affirmative and lending credibility to his words or his feeling, he says, �Yea and you were checking me out. I saw you�
21:50 - Wednesday, Mar. 02, 2005
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