summer is a desert in a dream that i barely remember. i sleep, or rather 'turn in', when farmers and ranch-hands and all manner of outdoor laborors rise. sometimes three, sometimes four, i open and shut my eyes three times and toss and grumble until i'm settled in my sleep. but i am never settled in my sleep.
last night-- sorry, habit.. this morning, only moments into surrendering all hope to the semi-conscious and unconscious realm i had such a busy fluttering feeling. and i can't understand it. and from what i can gather i'm quite sure that i had a re-occuring dream. i recognized places and people and outfits, the time of day and the sequence of events but something was different. i was closer perhaps.. it must have been something to do with perspective.
for some reason i was either living or visiting or staying temporarily with a family that shared a duplex.. and it seemed like it would either be somewhere in l.a. or who knows where. all i really remember was that there were so many children and so few adults. everyone was very busy and there were only a few moments at a time when the adults and children would have a lull in all the activity.
an element of performance or anyway an audition was also thrown into the mix. i think i might've been wearing a really light skirt. i was young.. well anyway younger than the people that i was tagging around with. perhaps fifteen or so. i was alone a lot. even in the middle of all the crazy goings on i was alone in my thoughts and feelings and it was ok. it didn't matter really. i woke up sometime after. and nothing really compelling or exciting happened in the dream. i don't know but the whole thing seemed alright and only mildly strange.
i suppose i woke up feeling not so much anything at all really. everything just felt so terribly middle of the road; so dreadfully ordinary.
ah well. i guess when i was brushing my teeth i decided i don't think i should enter into an empty dating/relationship episode of my life. i think maybe i'm more made for.. being a friend. with perhaps a few negotiable benefits?
screeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam
5:40 p.m. - 2003-07-24
Recent entries:
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newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
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