i only have a brief moment in this in-between time.. this in-the-meantime part of today.
at the same time i have this urge to use the facility. i'm not going to be home for long. i've got to drive back up to my cousin's house, stay a little and then drive my ma to work (which is like eight minutes from my cousin's house and one exit up)
it's been a good day so far. and i'm find it increasingly difficult to put something decent and sleeveless on. there is absolutely nothing in my closet that i can stand anymore. bleh. nothing. i've got mostly black and/or button up things and its murder in this weather. i mean sure, it really isn't that bad in comparison to some places east of here, more deserty, more arid, more inland.. but i'm not there. i'm here. i'm here and this is what it feels like here and i'm hot (temperature wise) now. dammit.
so last night i or maybe it was early this morning.. i was reading some random diaries and stumbled upon some of the more... what's it called.. erotic story-entries.... ?? yes.. and i mean i don't have a lot of experience reading or writing these kinds of pieces but i guess i'm sort of becoming interested. i mean.. sure i've read one or two of those sexy paperbacks with the risque (risque?) covers.. you know the ones, they usually have some real beady-eyed, long-haired, muscle-bound beefcake with half a shirt on and dangling some voluptuous too-tan woman from his mid-section. you know the kind i mean? the over the top kind of "romance" novel. heheheh. novel.
sure i read like one or two of them in highschool and then again out of highschool. they're funny. the language, i mean. and i never took them seriously, you know? but now i'm really curious. could i--? am i capable of writing that type of fiction? writing for that genre? i don't think i am suited to it at all, you see. i've tried and i've failed. and it really kind of upsets me that i have.
i have a friend who has had the opportunity... inclination--? to write a few of these things. and they are, in fact, pretty racey.. but i don't know. i mean i have a ton of ideas of my own about situation or characterization or i don't know.. language. i guess it's the language that really makes my skin sort of crawl ((as indications go.. this is not entirely bad and not entirely good)) i mean i don't know. i would like to read some examples of really good erotic fiction.. because i think for the time being i'm flooded with a lot of the mediocre or the passable stuff.. you know? this is going to require some research and quite a bit of time. but who knows.. maybe one day i'll get it down the way i want it. not too prosey.. not too dirty.. not to complicated.. not too easy.
gah! i'm such a late bloomer. shouldn't i have been doing this kind of thing.. braving this territory sometime in my very early twenties? what the hell?!
2:14 p.m. - 2003-08-18
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
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newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
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