i walk around and peer into these faces from time to time; from day to day. and these faces that have so much character etched onto the contours and shapes and bends and breaks are so stunning to me. my breath gets caught in my lungs. these passers-by faces are sometimes blank, sometimes showing signs of indifference or cruelty or shame or guilt or--?
every now and again there is a pleasant one with sleepy, smiling eyes. those ones are my favorite because it doesn't take a whole lot to make those ones burst with the kind of beauty that inspires something catastrophic like sincerity or sweetness or something wholely apart from me and what i own. does any of that make sense? i think i'm just addicted to faces and from what i like to imagine goes on with it. its adventures or something.
in a different box: isn't it amazing how people become connected? so terribly known and unknown and so intimately attached to other people? and does anyone know just at what point it all starts to happen? i mean, of course, because in the course of a life there are so many people that brighten and/or darken your door. i was thinking this on the drive from santana's when i was done at the school and heading to retrieve my non-driving mother from her day at work. i was thinking: isn't it something. you meet certain people or you 'fall in' with people whom you befriend and then one day you wake up to a phone ringing at you, separating you from dreams, and you're actually in someone's family. they've adopted you and don't care who knows it and you're just floored by the weight it and could use a moment to catch your breath.
the upsurge of love and warmth and generosity and willingness to open never-before opened vaults and photo albums that hold so many secrets. it's remarkably unreal. the feeling is just incomparable to anything.. ever.. at all! well, with few exceptions anyway. i mean i'm sure sex, marriage, giving birth and death are all pretty amazing.. in their way. but you know how it goes, for the sake of conversation and all that cal.
6:01 p.m. - 2003-10-22
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
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