you know, i can't help but wonder just how much of me, here, has detiorated. i write but i don't get anywhere.
last night as i was driving home from [r]'s (or maybe i should say this morning between one and two).. as i had just jumped onto the 5South from the 163, i looked back into the rearview mirror and caught sight of a raised hand somewhere at the lower right hand corner.
naturally i was startled. and in cases like this everything that happens or everything that is seen or done sort of happen simultaneously. so it isn't as if phrases like "..and in a flash.." or even "..sudenly.." make much sense or apply or come close to anything that actually takes place.
so in the split second it took for my mind to process and register what my eyes had seen.. so when i went to check again, knowing what i knew, and it wasn't there.. i wasn't surprised. that's just what happens.
no big deal. things like that always happen. they happen when you're not thinking about anything particularly creepy or spooky.. when you're not particularly prepared and you let your guard down. hell i was in a good mood, floating on air.. sort of daydreaming about the next possible rendezvous with [r]. and this is why i say you should never let your guard down.
oh but how exciting. how thrilling to feel the warm and nervous rush of fear pooling at your cheeks. filling in the gaps as you bristle and tingle all over. your eyes darting, hands swerving and your sense of balance knocked over.
needless to say it took a few minutes for me to get my composure back. and i knew that i would feel this sort of appreciation for it later.. its just that the comfort and safety of later takes so long to bloom.
this was going to be another update but i changed my mind for various reasons.
see i was reading a friend's livejournal and found this neat thing where you do the following:
1. open your media player
2. choose all your mp3's
3. put it on random
4. list the first 15 that come on... no matter how embarrassing ;)
so this is my list:
1 hello - floetry
2 someone to watch over me - lea and gerard
3 mr marley - manu chao
4 it's a man - betty hutton
5 pilipino medley - mabuhay singers
6 hyperballad - bjork
7 candle on the water - disney
8 jeepers creepers - django reinhardt
9 oxford: pope's gypsy cadenza - joshua bell, the philharmonic orchestra
10 vienna: etudes/death of kaspar - joshua bell, the philharmonic orchestra
11 the same old hurt - burl ives
12 gummi bears theme - disney
13 love doesn't end - soundtrack The End of The affair
14 its only a paper moon - james darren and vic fontaine
15 luchini aka this is it - camp lo
me: oh the pain. groan, groan, oh how my feet hurt.
random guy: does your face hurt?
me: no... why..?
random guy: because its killing me.
laughter
11:57 a.m. - 2004-02-22
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
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