you know what i was thinking? i was thinking.. when you say you love somebody, that's something you can never take back. i mean it. when something bad happens or feelings mutate into something other than its original form, you can't take back that at one point in time you loved this person, this somebody.
and then i was thinking.. well yea. because what are you even thinking this for? when you say you love somebody or even when you think you love somebody there are no internal fail-safes, none. no. there's nothing, internally, that is custom built to compensate for failure because feeling, though changeable, is strictly not a take-it-back affair.
there is no power or urgency (or agency) in taking it back
love means never having to say you're sorry, right?
wrong. wrong and yet.. we'd all like to believe we can live off of this mythic type of love that sustains and forgives and encompasses all. so.. while we may believe in the dream and even --dare i say it?--
fight for the dream, we can't forget the reality. the awesomely slow reality of a thing like this
in a place like this......
more later.. when my eyes aren't so leaden with the weight of delirium.
[sidenote: things are better. they have to be. i'm chasing the terror of that hand sweeping past that face in imperceptible progress. ~meh~
01:25 - Monday, Apr. 26, 2004
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
lv2write00
squirrelx
cdghost
smoog
muppetathena
crystal42
thatdame
iwillsurvive
monstre
ouvrelesyeux
poolagirl
lintpickle
i-am-jack
anniewaits18
alicewonders
sunnflower
crateobscure