tomorrow is nearly here and i'm not doing what i should be doing.
but lets face it.. when am i ever doing what i should be doing.
tomorrow is going to be a long day and then its going to be enclosed somewhere. hopefully i don't feel rushed. i just want to be in the crush of it again. the warm, dark place that is at once heavy and important on my life.
its at this point, right here, that i seem to remember a conversation i had with [d] in which
i said: well it wasn't an in-love-at-first-sight kind of situation. its different than what i thought it would be. it sometimes feels like there is no "magic" or anyway not enough of it and i feel to blame for that.
and then...
he said: well that seems silly. to put everything on "magic" at the start. i think that people who have worthwhile relationships and connections don't have that "magic" to begin with. i think its more special to grow to love and to grow to falling in love and to grow into that magic. its cheesier to want all of that at the start, i think.
in the meantime, folks, i know that there are more important things going on. i know that i have concerns.. very real and very pressing. so. i'll go. and that is all.
for now~ because that's not at all what i wanted to write about anyway.
22:58 - Wednesday, May. 26, 2004
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
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