television and our two pairs of eyes, fixed brown dots. there is no talk, no teasing attitude. just nice and quiet like the way i hoped and planned. two people, him and myself.
him: "close your eyes"and though they weren't a box whitman's samplers (which i've been hinting unsuccessfully at since month ten) i was thoroughly surprised and something else that i don't know how to translate into words.
me: "no..."
him: "close your eyes"
me: "no..."
him: "Close Your Eyes"
me: (closing eyes followed by slow hands compelled toward eyes already closed) "...but if i close my eyes there is no guarantee that i will be able to open them because of my contact lenss--"
him: "happy valentine's day" (he moves on top of me in akward position (perhaps to emphasize our unsmooth unseductions)to bite my face like a puppy while holding up a dozen roses and a heart-shaped box of see candies chocolates still concealed in its squarishness)
and then a little later... (after the mischief)
me: (turning down the music in the car) "ok look i know we're saying goodnight but i have to say something and you have to listen because not only do you deserve to hear it but i deserve to be able to say out loud, ok?"(although a part of me still laments that he cannot or willnot say the words with me for me about us)
him: (smiling, already satisfied but something more.. calm, kind...pliable, leaning back into my hand, settling in, moving muscles like that of a back belonging to a big-cat in the wild.. he could be purring around the eyes)
me: "i love you"
him: (his touch pulls me in and closer than i've been lately. we kiss and he doesn't stop even when i do. we're briefly apart, his hand still warming my thigh, and he leans in again not because he had to but because he needed our lips to touch again in the same way i needed the words to help me make a little more sense to me
as i am
sorting things out as they go)
i give you
rudolph valentino and partner (someone i haven't yet identified but will)
19:32 - Tuesday, Feb. 15, 2005
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
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