warm sheets and strange beds and a swatch of fabric touching foreign places. how many nights and how many beds and too many houses in a blur passing suspiciously, moving slowly. the owners are away but their shadows fall unevenly still and the trouble is with overlapping spaces and imprints that touch but can never truly meet. disappointment slides from me and onto someone else's scent or objects in the room that aren't mine. and me, always so insistent on the comfort in being surrounded by one's own things.. the right place, among lotions that you know you'll use, the hairbrush you haven't cleaned yet, the knicknacks that dot your interesting terrain marked with your unique prints and oily secretions. and i say you but i mean me because i don't know you but i'm breathing the air you left inside this safety, invisible cushions against my face and arms, eye-lids and all.
it always happens in houses that someone else is watching. once, when invited over, i ate up all their gourmet salami. it was my fault john didn't get paid for his trouble. they had cameras i know it. another time, i lost time, the television glowing growls at me in the cold on someone else's lonely couch while someone or other had a moist welcome and a door somewhere opened and a sunken heart slumped away at the empty stars and the dull pre dawn.
just walk away from it because that's the best thing and you'll never sleep again. this is everything to you
unclear as i can make it.
and in that way.. mine.
00:24 - Tuesday, Nov. 30, 2004
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