its official. i'm insane. its four in the bleedin morning and i'm thirsty. i'm thirsty and i'm not asleep. i'm thirsty and i'm not asleep and i have started many things that i am no longer able to finish. but the sad and pathetic thing is that i'm probably not going to quit. even if its smart to, i won't. that kills me.. and not in the all-too pleasant sense of the word.
i think what i'm watching right now.. well, however intermittently.. could quite possibly be the sequel to the goodbye girl. its really good dialogue. i came in on it at its middle, i think.
i don't have much of real worth to jot here. to keep here. to bother with..
hmm. this movie is about internal struggle. its about giving in and weakness and superficiality and really smart and empty, tired, cynical people. really messed up a-chance-at-something-beautiful-but-missing-the-mark type of people.
wow. drama. it must be difficult. heh.. i think a light went on in my head just now. it flickers on now and again. mainly its over the thought of what drama is and/or what comedy is and means. and the significant and constant exchange between the two. that there IS such an animal as a clown that cannot smile or a serious, brooding type who cracks snide jokes at inappropriate times.
no i'm not drawing from actual people that i know. and if there are similarities to actual, living humans then it IS purely incidental.. or accidental.. or both.
i think i should maybe make an effort to lie back, fall back, let fly.. slide into asleep.
ah ha! i found out the title to this tongue and cheek song and dance, its called ONLY WHEN I LAUGH. its the old joke. do you know it? something about a man who's just been stabbed through the heart (or maybe it was the side..) and his friend comes along while he's writhing around in pain.
he says, "you look terrible. does that hurt?"
the skewered guy on the ground says, "only when i laugh"
insert laughter here
just say "no" to pathos.
heheheeh. no, i don't exactly mean that either. ah, such drivel.. such a drifting mess is here. well. it's early and my ass is numb. together, these are not so good.
4:26 a.m. - 2003-09-04
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
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