strange things happen. whether they're real or whether they're fiction, or fiction based on--?
i'm a vehicular masher. someone has been rear-ended by me. this sucks. we're dealing with the damage outside of insurance because niether one of us wants our rates to go up. he's a new driver and i'm just stupid.
in any case it happened. i'm ashamed and want to make things right but i don't want to end up with a bad limp because of it.
friday night coffee is momentarily set aside for rob and a house full of kids and snacks and hanging cages and iron maiden replicas and the gate swings wide tonight. tonight, ghost stories in a huddled circle awash in candle lights. tonight is a first for me. face the fear, conquer the tide.. don't sink, don't drown.
this morning as i resisted rising (even as late as it was) i was dreaming in loops returning and recurring. there was a neighborhood of houses. it was fall. i took short cuts down streets i'd never seen. each go at it, at the replayed scene, i was hounded by a rogue bee or fly or wasp. a flutter of insistence. i suffered that and a pebble in my shoes and the sidewalk rough. i climbed a fence (i think) and stumbled into a party. tons of people i knew. or maybe just tons of the same few people i knew. nothing really happens until everyone has 'gone home'. then he comes in, as if on cue. he comes in striding, smile on and saying my name. he looks different than i remembered. something vaguely attractive, from before. from something familiar and comfortable. and yet.. no. what is he doing in my dream?!
my head hurts. more on this later. more later, in general. in the meantime-- nothing in the meantime.
in the air: halloween5
thoughts n' fillins: my head hurts.
10:15 a.m. - 2003-10-31
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
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newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
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