light and the open world. light and possibility. light.today is the next day. today is at its halfway mark. solitude, privacy, walls and walking.
the sun, a burst of fire, revives and restores in us, warmth, belief, trust, possibility.
i'm sitting in the dungeon. i haven't been here in a long time. the screen is something strange and reminds me of what intergalactic creatures might look like. so i'm sitting in this dungeon and i'm writing out my thoughts because i've been thinking so much that its spilling onto every available scrap. if it sounds like i'm being lazy, being languid, being slow, it's because i am. there is no denying it now. i am wreckage.
i gave myself an hour before i am able to make my way down to the-- to another office on campus. i expect to encounter looks of disapproval, disappointment, disinterest, discomfort. i expect that every person, their pairs of eyes, will look in as an intruder looks in on windows.
but the house is not worth saving. the house is bound to meet the terrifying blows of a merciless wrecking ball. its iron fist swinging to and fro forever and forever. the windows are now without curtains, after all, without the necessary filters to keep a multitude of eyes and interruptions out--even when there's no longer anything or anyone to keep, safely cushioned and coveted, in.
what am i saying. i don't mean to talk about houses. i haven't lived in one for close to ten years now. its all rot to talk about it anyhow.
i am asleep, as you know, and cannot shake myself awake. i am asleep in this waiting and waiting and thinking and sinking still. what can anyone do in the face of the heavy heavy weight of the dungeon walls collapsing in on one?
yes. it is
a long and languid, sleeping solitaire that sends little movements evenly across his rising-dipping breaths
12:24 - Thursday, Apr. 07, 2005
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
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