this is a letter to myself when i'm in a bad mood. and this is all untrue. everything is upside down. i'm sure i will read this.
don't wig out and don't be sad. being emotional gets you nowhere, fast. problems barreling toward you with no sign of stopping? its not a big deal, things like this happen every day to lots of people. don't be foolish. being centered is over-rated. your paranoid delusions, no matter how small, are really pretty acceptable considering...
there's no need to panic or muck about in the quagmire of depression. we're grown ups now, you and i, and we lead our own lives. this is what we do.
no one is out to get you or persecute you because you are not really that important.. people don't really focus on the subtleties of your varied facial expressions. so stop practicing them.
everything and everyone is normal and there is no gray area.. not anywhere. we means we and nothing more. separations are meant to be distinct. generalizations are encouraged. heartbreak does run out of steam at some point. you are a wonderful and innovative person who happens to write meaningful and easily accessible pieces of fiction and nonfiction. your back does not hurt, you don't have weak ankles. you are a winner.
there is no subtext. dreams have no impact on reality and it IS just your body attempting to unclog itself. speaking of which, reality is solid, like stones. fantasy isn't worth further investigation because that kind of thing just belongs in the periphery. contradiction is not complex its just confusing, strive to be clear. clarity is everything that has settled on the surface. solitude is unhealthy, so make it a point to always be with at least one other person, even if its someone you don't really like.
i am angry. my skin is dry, i have sores and everything is well and good. i'm so average that it chafes. my ear-lobes are sore, my ankle is still somewhat swollen, my hair has no lustre. i am hungry and unhappy. i am compulsive and quite alone now, in my mind, traveling a slick and downward spiral.
now
17:14 - Wednesday, Feb. 23, 2005
Recent entries:
oday.html">the 3 month countdown begins - 05 May 2018
anothrburst.html">another burst - this used to be my playground
newlife.html">begin at the beginning. - 10 April 2008
moody.html">a blanket for a bad mood under the sun. - 25 March 2007
emilludwig.html">...kissing a fool... - 05 December 2006
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